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02 February, 2006 - 9:12 a.m.
an essay on power

i realized while reading Piece by Piece (Tori Amos and Ann Powers) that I needed to keep a notebook beside me at all times, because I keep getting some great journal ideas. Today, I will try to answer as best I can some questions Tori poses while discussing the development of one of her albums.

"What is a powerful male, a powerful female? How are those roles abused?"

I think, in today's society, that it can be really easy to peg down what a powerful man is. Or at least we think we can do this. Is power money, physical strength, politics, charisma? Is it social influence or is it the ability to make my heart flutter when you walk by? Is it the ability to say without a word that I need to go change my clothing or that I've disappointed you? Power over who? Define power. Check your dictionary. I think all of the things above are listed.

For me, a powerful man is someone who does things or is capable of having things done on his own behalf for good or evil. Whatever goal or endeavor he attempts, he can summon the resources to make it happen, be it politically, or socially, or physically, or financially.

Who's more powerful than a small, crying child? It might be male, too. And that has nothing to do with money or intimidation or brute force or whatever.

Who has more power over me than the man who holds my heart (and therefore the ability to crush it at any given moment)?

The question about defining what a powerful male is like brings to mind the opposite... what is a powerless male? Does emasculation/feminization automatically make a man less powerful? Is power associated with manliness? Is lack of power associated with femininity? Is he packing all the power in his manly hetero penis? What is the source of that power, and what qualifies someone to be called powerless? Is powerlessness the same thing as learned helplessness?

As you see, I've more questions than answers.

Regarding powerful females, I think in our society, we are more easily able to show you what a powerful female is like, sort of like we expect the ladies to be less powerful and therefore we find brighter shining examples of power in its feminine form because they're more rare. A powerful female is a hot woman in a slinky dress with that come-hither smile on her face. She's got money and she can do what she wants. She can control you with your lust. A powerful woman brings to mind the Mother archetype, gentle and compassionate, yet totally in charge of your development and in shaping who you become, the person who kisses away your tears and puts a bandaid on your skinned knee.

Why don't politics come to mind when thinking about powerful women? Why are powerful political men supposed to be sexy and their female counterparts are dried-up so hard that their pussies have probably dried up and blown away? (If you don't use it, you lose it... "when you're only wet because of the rain..."). Why is there a gender difference in the connotations of power? Why do I think politics and getting stuff done when I think about the men, but I think about lust and nurturing when I think about the women? Is it so engrained in our own heads that even I have to work hard to come up with some examples of genders defying that stereotype.

How about this... powerful political woman (love her or hate her)- Hillary Rodham Clinton. There's an example. Plus, you've got a better chance of hitting the sack with her than with Laura Bush, who looks like she had her tang sewed up years ago, intentionally. Powerful nurturing woman: Mother Teresa. Powerful monetary woman: Martha Stewart. Powerful physical woman???? I'm at a loss here.

Powerful political male: all of washington dc. kerry, bush. alito. kennedy. powerful nurturing male: pope jp 2. powerful monetary male: trump. powerful physical male: arnold. I must say that it was harder to find a nurturing male, but i did find one. but all the other answers came so easily.

I think both roles can be seriously abused. Like when politics are handled in such a way to limit the power of women over their own bodies or to keep women in less powerful positions (such as the kitchen). I think power is abused when even women overlook the laws to get the female agenda in the books. Financial power? when you're buying and selling and shitting on the people beneath you (ENRON, martha stewart) for a profit. Power is abused when one person raises a hand to another simply because they're bigger, gender-on gender, cross gender, whatever. Power is misused whenever people use their bodies to get what they want, when women wear low-cut tops to get a raise or during rape or to entice someone into a false bargain. Power is misused when people nurture in order to control... i'll care for you now, but i'll make you feel miserable about my efforts. i think everyone misuses power to some degree.

today, i misused the power of emotional manipulation while on the phone with the rental company. i sounded a lot more upset than i am about the neighbor situation [in which his friends threatened me the other day. and my boyfriend, which is unacceptable] and made myself out to be much more physically frightened and uncertain, because i wanted the woman on the other end of the line to DO something about it. Yes, i'm uncomfortable with the situation, but I'm not scared. I mean, not unless they have a gun. I'm fairly certain I can take at least one of them physically. But I misused my power to make her care about my situation, simply because I want her to take some sort of action and to stress how wrong this situation has become. And I admit it. I want the problem solved, so I used my girl-on-girl empathy (less sexy than other girl-on-girl actions) skillz.

So I leave you with a thought... "Control can never be a means to any practical end... It can never be a means to anything but more control." -- William S. Burroughs.

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