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18 November, 2005 - 11:03 a.m.
the part where I gush about the Boy again

the Boy slept over last night. and we just cuddled. dude. he continues to blow me away.

there is a voice in my head screaming "treat me like a dirty dirty whore!" I am pretty sure that's my libido. yeah. no sex, but the making out is awesome. it's hot in so many ways.

i haven't spent this much time making out and not having sex since the 9th grade. i've NEVER met a guy that was like, no there's time for that later. let's enjoy this now. i am in awe of him.

sure, i could take advantage of him and bend him to my will, but i keep pulling back when things get intense. i like him enough to let him do this on his own, when he's ready. and it's killing me. argh. women get blue balls, too, you know. i'm walking around groping things like i'm on E or something. that's E, not E!. I don't know what good being on E! would do me.

it's so hard to restrain myself, though. like a test of will.

he came over and i was rather drunk from the post-internship (never have to go back again) margueritas from the mexican place and everyone has been warned that i'm not responsible for my behavior until after graduation. *sigh*

he says things to me that i've always wanted guys to say. he does all the sweet comforting things that i love, like kisses on the forehead and stroking my back and holding my hand. it's like my "first love" in high school, only with me not being a virgin. which makes it difficult.

thank god for that vibrator, right? wrong. it only does so much. i feel the tension all the time. IN MY PANTS. argh.

i am merely remarking, not complaining. hell, i'll take this any day over the Fuck 'n Run assholes.

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