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21 September, 2005 - 9:04 a.m.
got porn?

Remember my rant from, uh, yesterday about that article about female sexuality? Well, here's an email debate between some feminists... they debate two books about porn and sex and sexuality. And it's a good debate, too, not a point-your-finger-at-men debate. Purpose of porn and social issues, etc. And excerpt, "In Paul's book, women seem squeamish about sex (oral sex sounds like a burden to many of them) and naive about male desire�shocked to discover that men might keep Penthouses around after marriage. In Levy's book, the women embrace raunchy sex, lifting their shirts for TV cameras, making out with their girlfriends. And yet in the end, both groups of women are left emotionally bereft by contemporary sexuality�victims of a rapacious male appetite they can't control."

Oh thank god. an intelligent debate.

21 September, 2005 - 8:27 a.m.
review of the news

How many times do I have to ask... What the hell is wrong with Texas? Some school there got pissy about a gay quote on a st@rbucks cup and claims the coffee company is promoting a homosexual agenda. And exactly what are you promoting? I feel that the quote on the mug was a pretty good one and I can see how one can reframe the message in order to go with the university's beliefs. You know, something about god creating love and not wanting us to be alone in his divine creation, or some shit like that. Man. Fuck Texas.

I read this article about the new Clinton and Lewinsky condoms and my two thoughts are, "they're a day late and a dollar short. that should have come out years ago." and "$3.72 for a box of 12? Not bad."

And this asshole (Bill Frist) is nothing but a continual embarassment to my state, which has the misfortune of having elected him. First he (the "medical doctor") makes completely off-base comments about diseases and medicine and he really knows nothing about them. Now he sells stock in a hospital company mere days before their stock falls. Can you say... Martha Stewart? Blah blah blah Blind Trust and all that. Suuure.

And God bless comedy. Nothing I like more than mocking those in power.

20 September, 2005 - 3:14 p.m.
it's getting closer to hockey time, baby

An article predicting how well my hockey team will do this year. We'll see.

20 September, 2005 - 12:39 p.m.
stiffed again.

oh god. this article is funnier than anything i've read in ages. Cyclist's penis. What I'm interested in is the line where they say that you have as much penis inside you as you do outside you. I wish. lol.

20 September, 2005 - 11:07 a.m.
Fuck It.

While I was checking out Feministing Dot Com, I found this article which criticizes women who use their sexuality for empowerment. I'm not sure what this author wants from women. I think that she doesn't recognize the difference between a woman who is objectified against her will (or through various means of persuasion and coercion) and a woman who is comfortable enough with her body and sexuality to express herself. So... we're back to the Virgin/Whore dichotomy again. Either you don't do anything sexual at all or you're an utter tramp. Ugh. I am so frustrated and it all goes back to the bible... Virgins and Whores.

It's hard enough being lumped into the "good girl, bad girl" categories by men without being labeled by women, too. But, of course, we do that to ourselves. I believe that good women can express themselves sexually without being made into a vulnerable object. I belive that good women can take cardio striptease classes (Hell, I would if they had any offered around here.) and can give people lap dances and can act provocatively when they choose to. I believe that a good woman can go out and fuck somebody and have a good time and go home and wake up in the morning with a clean conscience.

I do believe that it's wrong to lump the girls gone wild chicks in with sexually empowered women. You see the commercials. You see them being coerced and having pained looks on their faces as the host tells them that he'll lose his job if he can't get them to flash their breasts at the camera. You see women who get into situations that they would never put themselves in if a guy wasn't leading the way with some sort of persuasion.

You also see women who, like me, are secure enough in themselves that they can give someone a lapdance without becoming an object. Because we're in control and we're freely making that choice without coercion. It's about sexual confidence. I'm not being used. I am using you. Just so you know. You may not be able to see that just by looking at me. You might actually have to talk to me.

I think it's pretty funny that the author sums up my opinion about her writing for me, "It's ironic that we think of this as adult entertainment, because really, reducing sex to polyester underpants and implants is pretty adolescent." And reducing women into categories of "good" or "bad" based on something you know nothing about is also pretty adolescent. But what can you do? She also believes that having hot sex sounds like a "job".

And if porn stars are an imitation of our sexuality that we're supposed to imitate, then WHAT THE HELL is our sexuality? What exactly would be the appropriate expresision of sexuality? Missionary? no. I don't think this chick is in touch with her sexuality and I think maybe she needs to explore it in depth before she judges all women and forces us into boxes.

Because I am not a whore. And I am not a virgin. And I do not put myself into situations in which people take advantage of me. Sometimes, they may believe that they are, but honestly... I don't do anything that I don't want to do. And I don't do anything sexually that makes me feel bad about myself. For a feminist, that chick sure is judgmental about women. Baby, you gotta grab sex by the horns and ride that monster. Because if you're not in control, then someone else is.

19 September, 2005 - 11:20 a.m.
Finally

Someone caught on. There will be a need for counselors to deal with the trauma from the hurricaine. Duh. I told you guys that weeks ago.

19 September, 2005 - 10:35 a.m.
various rants

Guess we won't be watching Tori Spelling gush on E! when her wedding comes up on their 40 weddings and a funeral special. Heh. If they can just edit that part out....

And what the hell is up with Hollywood?

And why the hell was i watching a woman-on-top wearing a bra scene when I was watching ABCFamily?? I turned it on and it was that Romy and Michelle movie about what happened after high school and before the reunion. And there was this sex scene with Romy and this guy and she was on top riding him wearing a bra. On ABCfamily!!! In the middle of the day! When children could be watching!!! Hello, judgement.

19 September, 2005 - 8:32 a.m.
Every day is a holiday!

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! Avast ye matey!

And pirate haikus!!! Oh happy day. Can it get any better than this? Pirates AND haikus?!?!

19 September, 2005 - 12:00 a.m.
brief guide to sexual ettiquette

Ok. Recent forays into the world of girl-talk have led me to spend some time thinking about this subject and how little some guys seem to know about it. So. Here goes. Some of this pertains to long-past historical data. And some of this is not related to me. Believe that or don't. These are some of the most common things that I hear when discussing sex with friends.

Certain rules apply to sexual encounters. If some things are going to be attempted, it helps if you have consent first. Like anything to do with the butt. Try suggestively massaging the area you wish to penetrate and asking if it's cool that you do so.

I suggest clipping your nails and smoothing out the edge with a nail file before trying to stick fingers and/or hands into any orafice. Female skin is sensitive and tender. Especially internal vaginal skin. So clip your nails.

If you wish to regulate the speed and/or rhythm of her body, using her neck is probably not the best way. Maybe giving her some help using her hips would work better. Light stroking on the hips in the right direction/speed is a good hint. Or maybe just saying "faster, baby" would work.

Speaking of necks... if you're over the age of 20, it is not appropriate to leave marks on the person you're sleeping with. Hickeys are not ok at the age of 25 when you have to go to work and appear professional and it's too hot outside for turtlenecks. Hypothetically.

If you are suggesting that you engage in a three-some with your girl and a friend, say it out loud and in plain terms. Don't just leave them in bed together (drunk) while you get up and walk around elsewhere in the house. Hypothetically.

Don't do things that are known to cause physical pain, like biting hard, without first ascertaining whether or not the other person is ok with that.

If a woman says to stop at any point in time, just stop, ok? If a woman says to stop and you keep going, it becomes rape. Trying to physically stop a woman from getting dressed or leaving is also not ok. And if a woman says no, don't do it.

When a woman says she needs to stop having sex for the night because she feels raw inside, maybe it's a good idea to stop. Please refer to sensitive skin (above).

When attempting oral or manual manipulation of the clitoris, start gently and gradually increase pressure until you find out what your partner likes. If a woman keeps scooting across the bed away from your tongue/hand, maybe you're doing it too hard. Sensitive skin. Oh, and lube. Use it.

Warn us if they will need to stretch out before sex. Otherwise we should assume that there will be no acrobatics involved.

Check and make sure the door is locked before sex if you have a roommate. And if the lady is naked and someone knocks, don't stand there with the door open... at least hand the woman a blanket.

That's all I could think about at this point in time. I will be updating as necessary.

18 September, 2005 - 9:58 p.m.
ow. yawn.

Jesus. what a weekend. you know what i discovered this weekend? that the older i get, the more i compromise my moral standards. that term becomes more laughable each year. hah. moral standards.

i'm exhausted. i've been in bed all day. and i'm going back to sleep after my cartoons are over.

oh, and the situation has been clarified. you know. the boy situation. i have made the decision to use him in the same way he's using me. you know. stop having all those complicated emotions that get in the way of having a good time. i'll let you know how that works out for me.

17 September, 2005 - 2:01 p.m.
regular people are heros.

a very good friend of mine went to Mississippi to help out with the relief effort. This is his blog of what's going on.

16 September, 2005 - 10:12 a.m.
so you want to be a stripper...

I was Farking and happened upon an employee manual from Hooters (including dress code) at The Smoking Gun. That's not the part that interested me. The part that really got my attention was this poorly written employee manual from a strip club. *cackles*

16 September, 2005 - 12:08 a.m.
a big difference

Dear world,
Britney did not "give birth". She had a C-section, which is different. That pussy was too scared of the pain of childbirth to actually pop one out (pun intended) and opted for surgery. Which is a cop-out in my opinion and should only be done if there is risk to mother or child or other kinds of complications. Oh boo-hoo. Afraid of the pain of childbirth? Don't get pregnant. Babies are supposed to make the pain worthwhile, but she can't even sacrifice that much. Stuck-up, pampered little bitch. Yeah. It'll hurt a little more than breaking a nail. FYI.
Get the fuck over yourself,
LiterateWit
Ps- many many women would murder someone just to be able to carry a child and to feel the pain of having a child. if you're not willing to do it, then maybe you should adopt. --LW

15 September, 2005 - 10:20 a.m.
a brief letter to sex offenders.

Ok. How to put this nicely? Hrm. I know. A nice letter.

Dear Florida Sex Offenders,
When you decided to rape, molest, or otherwise sexually assault someone, you gave up part of your freedom. That freedom includes the right to live and work near vulnerable populations, like schools where lots of kids are. Given the deal with that little girl who was murdered by a supposedly reformed and released "paid my debt to society" sex offender in Florida, I don't think that now would be a good time to get together to demand the right to live close to children. Just a suggestion.
Stop raping and molesting,
LiterateWit

14 September, 2005 - 3:09 p.m.
all kinds of literature

Yay! I got my "Joy of Darwin" postcard from alogglalala today! It's cute and has drunk crocodiles on it. Hee! And any city that has postcards with drunk crocodiles on them is fine by me.

I did some research for a professor at my school today. Not the one I work for. It involves Tori and her use of archetypes in her song lyrics. It was totally fun. I'm considering her tongue-in-cheek request that I come teach her class, as well as the proposal of doing a presentation during October (Domestic Violence Awareness month) which will dissect Tori's music in terms of the general themes about the crap women go through as a result of the patriarchy. Wouldn't that totally be fun? Totally.

I went to two classes today to pimp out my research project in my hopes of finding participants. We'll see. I know I have two more signed up. Great. As long as they show up. I had two no-shows this week.

Oh and I forgot to mention earlier that the Daily Show had an awesome interview with Kurt Vonnegut last night. I know that guests on the show have included some very influential politicians, some musicians, and other entertainers.... but this one floored me. I was all "holy shit! Kurt Vonnegut!" Which means that I was pretty excited about it. Awesome

14 September, 2005 - 8:50 a.m.
help wanted:

Oh, Condi, please do something about your eyebrows. For god's sake, get them professionally done so they don't look all lopsided like that. You've got the money, honey.

And For Fuck's Sake. This is from an article about getting the morning after pill without a prescription, "Conservative groups, which have intensely lobbied FDA arguing that over-the-counter emergency contraception would encourage teen sex, welcomed the agency's decision." What exactly is a condom? Emergency Contraception. Regular birth control pills? Regular Contraception. As in, I plan on not getting pregnant.

I understand their point. But conservatives are always saying that everything encourages teenagers to have sex. makeup. clothing. music. availability of contraceptives. Hello? Conservatives? Watch your kids. Virgins and non-virgins have the same likelihood of catching STDs. They may not be having vaginal sex, but there are holes being used for sex. See here, here, and here.

It won't encourage sex any more than being born with a penis, vagina, or other erogenous zone will.

13 September, 2005 - 12:18 p.m.
"people are still having sex" techno remix

Just kidding. I'm not gonna post lyrics from that played-out song. But I finally finished Thoughts Without A Thinker. I did start reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov last night. I made it about halfway through it before I really had to go to bed. And at work, I'm reading Why We Do It by Niles Eldridge, which is a psych book about why we have sex.

I've read ONE PAGE and it's already blowing my mind. It said, "No one, presumably, has sex in order to contract a social disease, but there are plenty of anthropologistss and psychologists who have argued that having sex forges a 'social contract'." No shit. You tend to think that if you have sex with someone a few times that maybe there is some sort of relationship there. Or at least I used to. Or do. Or whatever. Or at least some responsibility to be honest with each other about sex and who else you're fucking. But I digress.

Oh man, this book is gonna be great. Let's call that "premature readjaculation".

13 September, 2005 - 11:51 a.m.
How long before they get cocky again?

Well, as much as I talk shit about Bush, I'll give him credit for taking responsibility the slow response to aid hurricaine victims. I'll at least give him that much. Plus, the article had a very satisfying (to me) picture of the president looking flushed and uncomfortable. If I could stand looking at him for more than a few seconds, I'd make it my desktop.

I'm not switching sides or feeling sorry for the bastard. I'm just saying that it's about damn time someone thought to say "Hey, we were wrong here. There is a BIG problem." instead of praising the person in charge of the agency that should have been making the most impact ("You're doing a good job, Brownie.") and failed to do so. And resigned. Hee. Let's see how they wiggle in months to come.

13 September, 2005 - 11:29 a.m.
Hrm.

Stuff like this breaks my heart. Y'all know how much I love the transgendered. And I'm a straight female who was born female and is happy with her sexuality. The article inspires many questions, the first of which being "How do you have several sexual encounters with someone and THEN discover that they have a penis?" Er. Unless the sex was merely oral. And I think we all learned that oral sex doesn't count. (Thanks Clinton!)

My brain tells me that these folk are guilty of a hate crime, which means they should go to jail for longer. And by "longer", I mean "forever".

And in the back of my head, I see the scene in trainspotting in which Begbie is making out with someone in the back of a car and tries to stick his hand down their pants... and realizes they have extra bits that he wasn't counting on finding. And, the following scene.

Begbie sits on the bed. Renton is sitting on the floor watching.
BEGBIE: I'm no a fucking buftie and that's the end of it.
RENTON: Let's face it, it could have been wonderful.

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

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