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14 November, 2005 - 10:29 a.m.
the knives we twist into our own hearts go the deepest.

i think i've found the lesbian in a man's body that i've been searching for since i hit puberty. he's sensitive. he's sweet. he's nice. he's kind. he's a feminist. he's crazy liberal like me. he gets pissed off at things on my behalf. he rants about equality and discrimination. why is he so awesome?

he got pissed off last night because i ran into some people (friends of the guy i used to see, the one i referred to as "the guy i should totally ditch"... the one who had a girlfriend, i found out) and they remarked about me being with a guy and how upset that jackass would be about it. i'm sorry. i'm not the one cheating on my girlfriend. poor him indeed.

the farther away i get from that rebound relationship, the more i can't understand what i saw in him. the more i am baffled by the twisted things our hearts do when we've broken off a relationship and are floundering in the world of the single for the first time in forever.

i am hurt by the level to which i let him degrade me, simply by associating with him.

put these two side by side. look at the difference. one wants to hold my hand and snuggle watching movies and the other wants to have a threesome with my friends.

the knives we twist into our own hearts go the deepest.

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