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26 August, 2005 - 3:24 p.m.
eventful, to say the least.

Busy day so far. I got up, showered, and went out to pay bills. It was grey outside and very very dark at noon. It started raining really hard as soon as I got on the road. Argh. It's ok. As I told this woman (who looked at me and said "bless your heart" at my soakedness), "If you're going to be wet, do it with style." And I did.

Paid: rent. traffic ticket. car registration.

Had: lunch with the ex, which was not nearly as awkward as it sounds.

Got: campus parking tag. keys to my office. cigarettes.

Congrats to C, who had an interview today and got the job!! We're going for drinks tonight to celebrate. Well, we were going out anyway, but this is another excuse. Yay!

What I plan to do now: take off my wet clothes, put on pajamas, and take a nap.

26 August, 2005 - 2:24 a.m.
cash update

whew. money! already paid: electric, water, diaryland, book company. woot.

and within half an hour of writing that, I'd been to w@lm@rt and back, stocking up on all the things I've been doing without for the past month or so, and refilling my stocks of things that i'd fallen back on when i ran out of other things. yay.

26 August, 2005 - 12:32 a.m.
it's almost like christmas

I'm waiting and waiting for my direct deposit to show up. It's 12:30-something and it hasn't shown up in my bank account yet. I bet I'll have to wait until 8 am or something. Fuuuck. I hate the waiting game. I've been waiting for two months for this check. These last few hours are killing me. Here's what I'm doing with my money:

Paying rent for September and October. Saving receipt for next false eviction notice. Paying off my BO@ credit card. In full. Yes, it's nice to pay off credit that I spent over three years ago. I'm paying last month's electric and water bills. Good to have utilities. Renewing my car registration so I don't get ticketed. Paying my speeding ticket so I don't go to jail. Paying for some books that I ordered online. Getting a gold membership for this account, as they never answered my request to transfer my gold membership from my previous existance. Then I can totally cancel my old diary. Hah! Of course, buying food and cigarettes and taking my people out for drinks. They've been supporting my alcohol habit, at least in part, for the past two months and they deserve a night of free drinks. I've been good about drinking cheap beer, but I may have to upgrade. Buying new bras. Fuck. Nothing sadder than a woman with ratty drawers. And the underwires to my bras keep coming out in the wash. And stabbing me when I wear them.

Then, I will carefully reassess my fundage and do something else. I will get a paycheck on September 29th, so I'm not destitute. I'll get my $567.27 or however much it is. Then another big check in October, which I will use to pay off more bills and maybe buy a flatscreen monitor (and if I get a good enough deal, I'll get one for my roommate).

And maybe get plane tickets to Aruba for February. I was invited. Family members have a timeshare and said if I can get plane tickets, I'm welcome to join them. Woo. Don't worry. I'm not blonde or rich, so I won't go missing. Even if I was stupid enough to go off somewhere alone with guys I just met, you wouldn't see my picture on CNN. Cause I'm poor. I made $8,000 last year, people. However, just in case, I have provided my family with approved photographs for the national news. There aren't any pictures in there of me with red eye, with funky hair, with a goofy look on my face, with one eye closed, etc. All of them are me looking fabulous. Just in case. You never know. I'm a single woman. *shrug*

If I went missing, who would they interview? And what would they say? Something along the lines of: 25-year-old graduate student is missing. Her friends noticed when she hadn't updated her diary in more than a few days and they called the cops. Her roommate says that the apartment has been really quiet and her cats won't shut up. Her roommate adds that she got worried when she noticed that the graduate student hadn't called her in to look at any webpages recently. Bartender at a pub she frequented was worried when she didn't show up on friday night, as was her habit.

my mom: my baby girl *collapses into tears, turns the situation into something about her*

hah. anyway. that's what i'm planning to do with my money. i suggest you all give your families photographs you approve so that you don't wind up looking goofy like that runaway bride with the one crazy eye. She always had that one wierd eye!! i was like "this is your one chance to be on national news and THAT'S the picture they chose. oh. die of embarassment."

25 August, 2005 - 12:57 p.m.
perspective: the least sexy thing ever

I woke up to the pounding of what could only be DREAM RAIN or someone washing my window (2nd story) with a hose because dear GOD it does not rain this hard except in movies. And it's raining. Hard. And my car windows are down a little bit to help vent the heat so I don't die when I get in. So, forgetting that I'm wearing only a t-shirt (fittingly, it is white) and underpants (I'd taken the shorts off in my sleep, apparently), and without my contact lenses (a dangerous venture in itself... I'm legally blind and can't see beyond my nose without them, but i see JUST FINE with them on. Better than you, anyway)... I run down the stairs and out the front door to my car to roll my windows back up. I don't know if anyone saw me, but I am pretty sure it was the least sexy thing ever. Oh yeah. dripping wet white t-shirt. me fumbling blindly in the rain with my keys. my bed-hair getting matted down with water. Sexxx-ay.

And i was in the middle of a dream. A nice dream. And I'm starting to feel a lot better. And when I cough stuff comes up instead of me coughing in vain. and I'm sitting here in a soaked t-shirt that my mom got on her new years trip to Manhattan that has teddy bears linking hands and each bear has a word on it, spelling out "I *heart* new york" superimposed over the word "Manhattan". They got it for my grandmother when they went to times square for new years eve, but she was too sick to ever wear it, so they gave it to me. The family new-york-o-file. Of course, they didn't love me enough to take me with them. Nooo. (a joke! i kid because i love!) so I'm soaked in my dead grandmother's t-shirt. i knew i could make that even more fucked up somehow. See, it's all about perspective.

25 August, 2005 - 12:59 a.m.
shits and giggles. and bunnies.

OK. The link of animated bunnies reenacting The Shining (in 30 seconds) made me giggle. I watched it so many times that I had to go pee and come back and watch it some more.

24 August, 2005 - 10:26 p.m.
showdown at the courthouse. or something less dramatic.

My court date for my traffic ticket was today. The option, for most people, is to pay it by mail or contest it in court. I, being poor, had to go before the judge to tell him I'd pay it later. Or as I said to him, "Given my current state of financial hardship, I need to arrange to pay this at a later date." So yeah. I was seen in between a domestic violence case (where the guy almost got arrested. they even broke out the cuffs!) and an assault charge. And he said that it was ok. So pay it at a later date, I will. Hopefully Friday. Maybe tomorrow if my direct deposit comes along. That would be swell.

Ran into a friend of mine from school while I was at the courthouse. K had seen my name on the monitor that tells you where your case is being seen and waited around for me. She works with domestic violence advocacy and that sort of thing. She invited me to lunch, but I felt like crap, so I went home and went to bed. I took her advice and took some theraflu (which is disgusting) and am feeling a hell of a lot better. We'll see how I feel in the morning.

Ugh. I am hot. and sweaty. And not in a sexy way. Being sick makes you have wierd dreams. Not hot, sweaty, sexy dreams. Strange dreams. But I'm hooooot. *whines* (I'm over it, really.) I really would love to not have crap coming out of my lungs every time i cough. So, let's drink to that!

24 August, 2005 - 4:09 p.m.
more pat

Even the re-stating of his position is ridiculous. Oh. Pat. no, no, no, i just meant we should kidnap him. Riiight. Jesus isn't smiling, Pat. And god hates you.

24 August, 2005 - 2:39 a.m.
the end.

I knew one day the fun would end. It only took me ten years to get there.

24 August, 2005 - 1:56 a.m.
freak. and other descriptions

WTF is wrong with Pat Robertson? I read this article which is strangely on foxnews, the very place i thought would agree with him. Robertson is laughable and will hopefully discredit the funadamental christian movement. "this is a christian nation" and all that. no, people, this is a predominantly christian nation. this is a country where our forefathers came so that they could practice their religion in peace, remember? which is why we allow each other to practice our religions in peace. remember? hell. I remember.

Anyway, this guy is a total nutjob, and that's coming from a person who works at a psychiatric facility. what the hell is he teaching his followers? to solve problems with violence? to go against the teachings of the bible? maybe he's teaching his followers a valuable lesson in skepticism. you know, don't take everything your leaders say at face value. maybe, think about the importance of the message before following through with their orders. my favorite part of the link is this part, "In October 2003, he suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device. He has also said that feminism encourages women to 'kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians'." I cannot begin to tell you (and I shouldn't have to, hey common sense!) what a freak he is.

He is also outspoken against pornography. And he probably thinks that it is a sin for women to wear pants. Because he's that far out of the loop. Just so you know, I don't think we should be taking out ANY world leaders. Or any parts of the government. Especially not with nuclear devices. (Hello, fallout.) And I think Mr. Robertson should resign and get some help for his dementia.

Oh, I did see Mars tonight. I've been going outside late to smoke and I've been watching for Mars, as the internet tells me that I should be able to see it. Because we all know that we should believe everything that the internet tells us. And I did! And I made my roommate come outside to look at it, too, at one in the morning. I'm considerate like that. We won't get as good a look at it until 2018, you know. It looked like a big orange star.

Oh and I have to go to traffic court in the morning to tell the judge that I am broke until friday and can I please pay then and please don't cancel my license because I showed up to court and I'm not avoiding the situation, but I haven't gotten paid since the beginning of July and I promise to pay it at least on Friday when I get the check from the university. *breathes* I'm only a little freaked out because I haven't been to court, but my grandmother worked in the courts, so I am familiar with how nice judges and other affiliated staff can be if you treat them with respect. So that's my plan. Go. Show up early. Dress nicely. Speak respectfully. Don't have tourettes. State my position clearly. Go home. Go to bed because I can't fucking sleep. Dammmmit.

I have insomnia and not a booty call in sight. Which has been my past cure for insomnia. So it looks like I'll just be up, now won't I? Good thing it's my week off. Bad thing that I'm sweating my cold out so I can't sleep and I'm HOT and COLD and HOT and COLD and fuck if I could just sleep. Dammit.

So if you don't hear from me, you can well assume that I got a sudden case of tourettes and they locked me up for contempt of court. Send money to my paypal account. Well, you can do that anyway, contempt or no.

23 August, 2005 - 10:38 p.m.
cool

I was just informed that there will be a cell phone wrist watch. Sweet. Now, I await my moon boots.

23 August, 2005 - 12:21 p.m.
really, life comes down to choices.

Dude! A Choose Your Own Adventure Book online! Sweeeeeeeeeeet.

22 August, 2005 - 6:19 p.m.
no government left behind.

Finally! A state challenges No Child Left Behind. Don't get me wrong. I love that the government (i.e. Incompetent George) agrees with me that something has to change in our education systems. I agree with them that there need to be higher standards for teachers and schools in general. Good. Now that we've talked about what we agree about, let's discuss the things we disagree about.

How about going back to developmentally appropriate tasks for each grade level, instead of sliding back to younger and younger years and giving kids tasks that they aren't supposed to be able to do because they haven't developed those motor and mental skills yet? How about going back to a more appropriate standard for what we expect kids to be able to do in each grade level? How about taking the money we spend when we hold kids back a grade level and using that toward after-school tutoring programs so that they don't get so far behind?

How about not being so worried about getting ahead of the game that we forget the process of being in the "NOW"? How about we don't get so uptight about our kids going to college that we don't let them enjoy kindergarten? How about creating after school programs that keep kids interested in learning AND keep them out of trouble? How about creating summer day camps like we had when I was a kid (and I'm only 25, people) so that we were busy and doing things and had educational access during the summers?

What the hell is this sitting around all summer while your parents are at work business?

Anyway. The government will never be able to create a program that effectively legislates what we do with education because they don't ask the right people. Hey, George, grab yourself a developmental psychologist and a childhood education research specialist. Sit down with them. Have a discussion. Learn something for god's sake. Please revise the grade expectations. Kids are supposed to be using big fat pencils in the first grade. They don't have the muscle coordination to use pens. Start there.

22 August, 2005 - 12:06 a.m.
i'm not fucking around.

Ugh. I don't feel as horrible as I did yesterday, but I still feel ill. My nose is runny. I've been sneezing. And I'm tired. So. fucking. tired. and i've been blacking out, which is awesome.

i almost passed out going up the stairs in my apartment last night. i DID pass out going up the stairs in my apartment tonight. it was so awesome. thankfully, i saw the world going black, so i sat down. and in the shower today, too, which is a totally rad place to pass out. Just so you know. i sat down there, too, and hit my head on the shower wall when i lost consciousness.

Man, when I don't feel good, i really don't fuck around. i've been taking it easy around here. T and I went to H2's house to watch the last few episodes of Sex and the City before we had to return the dvds to BallBuster. I had a hard time even staying upright. I am so the life of the party right now. I'd be ok with the being tired as long as my nose stopped running. Or my nose can run as long as I'm not tired. either/or. Whichever.

Need a cigarette. smoke. i wish i could smoke in the house, but i just don't do that any more. i don't like it when my house smells like smoke. it's bad enough that i have cat litter in the house. smoke would be worse.

yeah. going to have a smoke and then i'll come back upstairs and pass out in my bed.

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