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19 May, 2005 - 3:24 a.m.
SPOILER ALERT!

The first part of this is about the new Star Wars movie. The second is about the book I'm reading.


The movie was better than I expected it to be. That cnn review I posted yesterday was obviously written by someone who hasn't followed Star Wars as closely as I have. Oh, and a correction. Wtf was I thinking when I said Anakin lost his need for a leader in Empire? It was in Jedi. Duh. Sorry, my brain has been off this week. I left the movie kind of down, and I'm not sure if it's because the movie is, in fact, a downer, or if it's because I'm sort of sad that something that I've spent so much time enjoying is over. Or some combination of the two.

Anyway... the story basically makes sense in terms of continuity with the rest of the series. However, some of the acting and dialogue were of questionable talent. I must say that Hayden Christiansen is hottttt. And I will agree with the guy that wrote that article, Ewan McGreggor made the movie worthwhile. They really made a good choice when they cast him in that role. And he's hotttttt.

There was one part where I lost my willing suspension of disbelief (an integral part of enjoying fiction). Natalie Portman was brushing her hair with a wide-bristled brush. Her hair is curly in that scene. That would never work. As someone with curly hair, I resent the lack of knowledge about something real like that. You'd get a bunch of fluff, not pretty curls like she had. But whatever.

Some of the scenes made me want to weep. When Anakin killed the children, that really got to me. When he could have turned back and done the right thing instead-- and didn't-- I really felt it. I think I've carried Star Wars way too close to my heart. People do misguided things in the name of love. I'd like to think that I would win the moral battle and learn to live without the person I love rather than to cause terror and oppression over the entire galaxy. Not that I'm in a position to reign over a galaxy or anything.

That's something I really feel. Morals. Ethics. Like when I ratted out the first year students for breaking confidentiality. Risking loss of friendship because there are ideals that I believe in wholeheartedly. I would have been a great Jedi. But whatever.

There are many things that I would love to do in my life, but don't, because it wouldn't be right. Guilty pleasures are only pleasures while you're doing them. You're left with consequences. This really was a movie about consequences. Weighing your actions to see the best possible option for all involved, not just whatever feels good or brings happiness to yourself. I love it when I find truth in fiction.

I have started reading "A thousand acres" by Jane Smiley. I first read it for an english class my first or second semester of college. It was a great class where you read a classic novel, like "Jane Eyre" and then you read it's modern-day counterpart (which was "Wide Sargasso Sea", by the way, which tells the story of the first Mrs. Rochester). We read "A thousand acres" in conjunction with "King Lear". Both books are about a family situation, in which the father holds his inheritance over the heads of his children with all kinds of other drama. I mean, isn't that what families are about? Drama? The three children (adults, really) are forced in some way to declare their love for their father and from those declarations (or lack thereof) comes consequence.

Somehow last time I lost the beauty of the book. Probably because I was reading it for a class. I missed the romance between the married woman and the guy that returned after many years (not her husband). I missed the tense dynamics of stress between a controlling father and his children, stress I know well in my own life. It's like a highwire balancing act, only you're not sure that the wire is even there, let alone secured properly on each end. And you don't know how far it is to the ground, so you aren't sure if you should be scared by the fall. All you can do is guess, because true consequences reveal themselves in life, not in conjecture.

What would it be like to refuse to declare your love for your father (because he should know after all these years that you do love him) and to lose everything because of it? What is everything? Is it just the inheritance? Money and land? Pah. Or is it that sense of connection between people who are close, like family, and who have always been there for each other. Could I do it without my family? Could I walk away and survive (emotionally) on my own? Just thinking about it makes me feel bereft. Not that my family is this big unified front like these families are. My family routinely separates and forms factions who rage against the other. I've just been pretty good at the juggling act and have not been forced to take sides after all these years. I'm pretty sure, as large as my multi-married and multi-divorced family is, that I would never be left out in the cold all by myself. Somebody would be there.

But the game is all about consequences.

18 May, 2005 - 1:54 p.m.
movies

I thought this was a little ridiculous. But I suppose that businesses have a right to do as they please.

And this author has it wrong when he said, "Of course, this is really the story of how Anakin outgrows his need for masters altogether, becoming a 'dark father' himself." Anakin/Darth doesn't outgrow his master until Empire. I knew that even as a child. However, he did praise my Ewan for his Obi Wan. So, that's good. I have my tickets for tonight already, so I'll let you know tomorrow.

What were they thinking? Did they think they had awesome preview tickets for the night before? Asshats.

18 May, 2005 - 11:03 a.m.
not Jerome

It's a pity, really.

One line for negative. Whew. Two lines would have scared me, as they wound indicate either a baby or another one of these. And we all (ok, many people who read me before the move) remember how fun that was. Remember the experimental procedure I underwent that was an alternative to uterine fibroid embolization? The "experimental procedure" was the same as a vacuum aspiration abortion, thought to be less compromising on later fertility than embolization on younger women. Man. That was a good time. The lack of painkiller and extreme pain... oh yeah. I want to do that again. Thank god for one line. At least now I know that my stomache ills are related to stress.

17 May, 2005 - 11:17 p.m.
The not-so-long awaited Chaotic Drinking Game

Wow, the servers are overloaded tonight. I still can't figure out how to transfer my gold membership over to this account (why am I paying that $2.50 a month? kidding.), so I am still encountering the "hey, wait a minute. the servers are overloaded so you can't post. but gold members can." and I'm still thinking "but I AM a gold member. just let me in." Anyway, everyone must be on posting about the britney and kevin show. That's why I came here, anyway.

T and I watched the show tonight. I thought the show was laughable, but now I'm hooked, so I'll probably watch it for years and years. Dammit. We came up with the Chaotic (that's the name of the show, by the way) Drinking Game. It will require revision once more episodes are played. Ready?

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