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15 May, 2005 - 3:33 a.m.
wtf, mate?

These people are assholes. They put an anti-internet petition on the fucking internet. *ahem* free speech anyone? Yes, blame the internet as the cause of addiction and sin, rather than the american tendancy to lack self control. People like that make me ill. Blame the fucking internet. Don't like it? Don't use it. Don't go blaming MY fucking internet. I do love that most people who signed it are totally ripping them a new one, though. Seriously. View the signatures. I think this one is my favorite, "Now that we've conquered Iraq, stopped terrorism, saved the whales feed the starving and explored the outer regions of space, i'm happy that we can finally do something worthwhile and restrict civil liberties. And why stop at the internet? Lets get all the books we don't like and burn them in a huge pile in the middle of the street." And this one, too, for it's literary merit, "Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore.' While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there cam a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, ' 'Tis not possible,' I muttered, 'give me back my fee hardcore!'.... quoth the server, 404." Whoever you are, you have my heart. Hee.

Shit. Now I can't move to Ohio, either. The author does a good job of ripping this bill apart, so I'll just let him speak for himself.

Maybe NC isn't so bad. But I still can't move there.

Now that I'm done linking you, I'll tell you about my day. You've probably read that I got up way early (for me) this morning. I plopped up this template and will work on actually putting effort into designing the banner and background. I just didn't want it to sit there with a generic template on it. So I put this generic template on it instead. Then I took a shower and went to see Unleashed, which was pretty good. For the first 20 minutes or so, the best thing about the movie was the music, as done by Massive Attack. woo!

We came home and L (the bf, if you haven't figured that out) went to work. I took a short nap on the couch, ordered some chinese take-out, and waited for T and H2 to show up. It was game night. We played Uno. We played Sorry. We played Scattergories and Balderdash. (god help my spelling.) L came home (cranky) and joined in, but he warmed up after a while. We learned some new words, which we are now using to refer to passing gas. I know. Fart jokes just don't go out of style.

I'm sort of pissed off because I broke the door on my cd player. It's a vertical cd player on which the door pops open horizontally. I was moving it downstairs for game night and it slipped out of my hands. Damn. I bet I could order another one. Or just get a new cd player sometime. I really like that one, though. We'll see. It still works. Maybe I could tape the door on. I'm so ghetto sometimes.

14 May, 2005 - 10:49 a.m.
gone, but not forgotten

I finally finished deleting the 730 or so entries I had on my other diary. I deleted them selectively, choosing them by keyword, so as to delete the most damning ones first. Here is my word order search: sex, penis, T('s name), L('s name), fuck, cock, (the name of my school), (the name of my town), and love. After that I deleted them in reverse chronological order, because diaryland lists the last five entries automatically. It just seemed easier.


I noticed a recurring theme of me feeling invisible. Have you ever felt like you don't exist? I apparently feel that way a lot. And often. One of my metaphors was that it felt like I was disappearing from the edges inward, and that I feared what would happen should my heart become invisible.


But my old diary is finished and gone. I go now to work on the template for the new one.

14 May, 2005 - 10:17 a.m.
drinking and smoking to excess

As I've been deleting the old entries out of my other diary, I've sort of been reliving my life from the last four years. I noticed that I write a lot about boys, depression, self-worth, body image, and my cats. I read an entry about this time when I got a nasty sunburn and peeled for days (weeks!). I referred to it as "shedding my exoskeleton so that I could grow wings." And that's sort of what being here feels like.

It's nice to have a screen name that is utterly unrelated to the cranberries. That would be a first for me, a first in the ten years that I've been online. The computer is comfort. I revel in the cold anonymity of ones and zeroes, now that I can breathe again, safely assured that my family isn't reading my diary behind my back.

T and I went out Thursday night. Same place, same time, same companions. Well. We got trashed. I came stumbling in my door around 5:30 a.m. L wasn't upset. He'd called to make sure I was ok around 3:30. We'd gone from the bar to a friend's house to sober up (but wound up getting drunker there, I think). I went to bed and died. Woke up yesterday in a panic because it was payday and I couldn't remember what time the office where I get my paychecks closes... so I went down there unshowered, teeth unbrushed, looking like hell. Made it there in time, thankfully. Deposited my check.

I eventually showered and all that. Went over to T's house after making sure that my grilled cheese would stay down. We went to the movies (me, T, C, and H2). We saw "Monster in law", which was really pretty funny. Wanda Sykes was priceless. It was like the part was made for her. I had pretzal bites and nachos and an icee, so it looks like my tummy was feeling better. I came home and finished cleaning the place, got some smooches, and went to bed.

I don't know why I woke up at 9:30 in the morning and can't go back to sleep. I've been getting to bed in the wee hours of the morn and getting up 2-ish every day since school's been out. But whatever. I need to get into the habit of getting up anyway.

14 May, 2005 - 9:45 a.m.
i've gained two levels of hell since the last time I took this

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

14 May, 2005 - 1:07 a.m.
I still get the same answer

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

14 May, 2005 - 12:09 a.m.
Another one bites the dust

This is why I can't move to Kentucky. In vitro is an expensive process. I know this because a classmate of mine is struggling to conceive and has twice undergone unsuccesful attempts to carry fertilized eggs. If a family is able to care for more than one child, I don't see why the shouldn't be able to have them. Assholes.

This entry serves to supplement my previous diary's ongoing list of new stories that reveal the idiocy of politicians.

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